I Bi Dem: Woman, Wife, Mother

Waiting time was one of the topics in my communication class many years ago. I wondered then what the relevance was but I soon got to learn that waiting was extremely important and that failure at this stage could mar the end result of whatever was being waited for. So what is waiting time? It is the period between initiating an action or request and getting that action resolved or the request granted. Between the two ends of the continuum, a lot can happen. When you order for a meal in a restaurant, you often go sit down and wait, doing nothing but fiddling with our phones or engaging in small talks – nothing important. This is because we consider waiting a passive activity. We sit and do nothing – nothing. But the waiting time is not supposed to be a passive, unproductive time; it should not be wasted time. Waiting time is anticipatory time. It is time to anticipate; a time to plan for what is coming. We can’t afford to sit and doddle because we are waiting for someth...

One of the things that amazes me about Abraham is his willingness to go without having any idea where he was going. If you are like me, you would like to have an end destination in mind before embarking on a journey. Not so for Abraham; he goes without knowing and this becomes a pattern for him. Even when ordered to go sacrifice his son, he went without knowing which mountain he was going to. Like I said, I find it amazing and I really respect him for it.   When one engages with Abraham’s story, it becomes clear that he was able to behave in this manner because he trusted the one giving the instructions. He had complete confidence in the God directing him, so he followed not knowing the next step but believing he would not be led into a ditch. The word ‘trust’ seemed very abstract to me until I figured it out in my mother tongue – Yoruba. One of the beauties of the Yoruba language is that it is highly descriptive. You can deduce the meaning of a word by exploring the differ...

I asked my six-year-old niece about what Christmas means and she quickly informed me that it is all about presents. Of course, I agreed with her because it is true.  Christmas is all about giving and receiving presents. And don't we all delight to receive one or two? Christmas is all about God giving us the best gift of all - Himself in our form to reconcile us back to Himself. I explained to her that Christmas is also a lovely time for us to give God presents - our hearts and lives. As we celebrate, let's ask ourselves if we have prepared our hearts as presents for the Lord who we should be celebrating this season. Or are we so concerned about all the other things that we can't or don't even have a heart to present to Him? He will not take a heart filled with sin, bitterness, and unforgiveness but he is willing and able to help us prepare our hearts for Him by giving us grace to love, forgive and live for Him. In the end, we would have given ourselves presents...

The word of God is forever new and we learn new truths each time we read it. Let me share an old story that has a new meaning for me.  It is from the story of Abraham, Sarah and Hagar. You will find the story in Genesis 15 - 21. There are so many lessons to learn from these three people but let me concentrate on just one today. I guess you remember how Sarah decided to give her supper to the cat by giving her Egyptian maid to Abraham to have a child on her behalf. And of course you will also remember the drama that ensued from that decision. Well, human meddling does not change the plans of God.  He still insisted on the initial plan of a legitimate son being the one He would use for His plan for mankind. Even when Abraham begged on behalf of Hagar's son, God did not budge. It occurred to me that the focus was not on the father, Abraham alone, but also on Sarah as the mother. God wanted use Sarah's son through Abraham. The mother matters.! Note that Abraha...

The rain started gently, slowly and it was welcomed as the humidity was high and we looked forward to the rain for some respite from the heat. I was on the phone and did not give the rain much of a thought but I decided to unplug the television based on past experience of lightening damaging electrical appliances.   However, within a few minutes, the dynamics changed with lightening followed swiftly by thunder. Suddenly the room brightened up from the lightening; there was a massive thunder and everything went black and silent. The extent of the damage was only discovered the next day. Garage doors, alarm system, TV, lights and internet were all blown away by the thunder. Needless to complain about the cost in cash and kind to effect repairs.   The experience taught me to appreciate what I have and take nothing for granted. Of all the systems grounded by the thunderstorm, I would say the internet affected me the most. We use the Wi-Fi for the TV, the phones and of course...

I have had many opportunities to listen to many great academic and spiritual personalities. You can’t remain the same once you have listened to some messages or lectures. While it is not likely that you will remember everything you have heard, you often cannot forget a sentence, a phrase, an illustration or a joke. Those stay with you forever. One of such moments for me was a sermon preached by late Professor Emeritus, Adeoye Adeniyi, who was the Vice Chancellor of University of Ilorin a few decades ago. He was also a deacon in Emmanuel Baptist Church Ilorin. I can’t remember the title of the sermon but I believe that he spoke about students’ unrest in higher institutions and the family.   What has stayed with me for almost thirty years is his plea to parents to ensure that their children know they are welcomed at home no matter the mistakes they have made in the schools. I wonder if this advice is a worthwhile one; if parents know what this means and how it can be achieved. ...

I can’t remember the number of times I have had to stand before a closed store with a ‘closed for stock-taking’ sign. The sign is very annoying especially when I urgently need the item in question. Sometimes I wonder why they have to do the stock-taking during the business hours when they could be making money. Over time I have come to accept and even understand how important it is, as much as it disrupts my shopping plan. I realise that they need to update records; know what has been sold, what is left, what products need to be bought to restock the store and of course the profit or loss made. Without proper stock-taking, a store will have no idea how it is faring and may soon have to close down. The same principle of stock-taking should apply in our lives as well. There is a need to take stock of how we are faring in different areas of our lives. We need to take time to look at our lives dispassionately and ask some pertinent questions. Personal stock-taking, like that of the sto...