The mother matters

The word of God is forever new and we learn new truths each time we read it. Let me share an old story that has a new meaning for me.  It is from the story of Abraham, Sarah and Hagar. You will find the story in Genesis 15 - 21. There are so many lessons to learn from these three people but let me concentrate on just one today.

I guess you remember how Sarah decided to give her supper to the cat by giving her Egyptian maid to Abraham to have a child on her behalf. And of course you will also remember the drama that ensued from that decision. Well, human meddling does not change the plans of God.  He still insisted on the initial plan of a legitimate son being the one He would use for His plan for mankind. Even when Abraham begged on behalf of Hagar's son, God did not budge.

It occurred to me that the focus was not on the father, Abraham alone, but also on Sarah as the mother. God wanted use Sarah's son through Abraham. The mother matters.! Note that Abraham had many children before and after Sarah's son but none of them mattered much. It wasn't only the father that mattered, the mother did as well.

A lot of atrocities are blamed on the fact that our societies are fast becoming ‘fatherless’ societies without positive male role models. The view is partly right. Our children do need positive role models. However, as women, we must realise that we can contribute positively to change the narrative by recalculating the way we raise our children.

In our patriarchal societies, it is easy to feel that it is impossible to change people’s attitudes and behaviours due to deep-seated cultural beliefs about. We wonder if our little efforts can bring about the changes we so desperately need around us. My answer is a resounding ‘yes’. You remember the saying that little drops of water make an ocean. Women sometimes feel helpless in decisions concerning the children. You need not feel so. The child may belong to the father according to societal rules but you also have a lot of power to determine your child's destiny.

While the child is in you, pray. Declare and resolve issues with the Lord. As the child 

sucks, make pronouncements. As you do take children to and from school, inculcate values. Never be too tired to engage with your child. You matter as a mother. You can't nurture a life and then stand by while it withers away by following detrimental popular societal rules. Get other women together and pray; share tips on how to raise godly children. Be part of your grandchildren's life. That is a whole new ministry. Do not fail God. He is counting on you because contrary to patriarchal belief, He knows that you matter. 

He planned it so. You matter. Let the fact that you are that child’s mother make a difference. 

I Bi Dem.