I Bi Dem: Woman, Wife, Mother

It is a year since my very first post on March 26 2019.   When I woke up that morning hosting a blog was not on my ‘to do list’, but I went to bed feeling happy that I had done it. They say, 'Time flies when you are having fun' and how true that has been for me.   I have had a lot of fun just chitchatting. The Yorubas say ‘Eni ta se lore ti o dupe, bi ole ko ni eru lo ni’. It simply means that a person who has received favours and does not show appreciation is a thief. I refuse to be a thief so I will like to say thank you to all of you who keep making it possible for me to post.   A big thank you to my brother, Seun, who challenged me to begin the blog; and wouldn't back down until I did. On that day, he talked me through setting up an account and making my first post. I needed the push. He remains a loyal reader of women's issues. Thank you to Annette who sent the posts to many people and thus created greater awareness aware of it. Thank you for all the en...

Happy mothers’ day to all who celebrated it yesterday in spite of the COVID 19 rampage all over the world. Thank God for those that have reached out to appreciate mothers; it simply disappeared off my calendar. I believe I am not the only one. So many are in the same boat being at home and the days have just merged into one. Thank you also to people that have shared links on how to keep children occupied during the lockdown. Being at home with children can be hectic; it is the time we value the time teachers spend with them, but it is also a blessing.   It is a time we can get to have those conversations and have meaningful family time. I pray God will give us wisdom to use this time productively. It could change so many dynamics in our homes. Below are some links that I received and hope will be useful for you either as a woman. wife or mother. I really look forward to using the audiobook link and have already downloaded a book. The President has just finished addres...

Today is Women’s Day and the focus here in South Africa according to etv news is self-defense. Women are being trained (and rightly so) to defend themselves in a society where all forms of abuse have become commonplace. Hardly does a month pass by without at least one report of violence against women, and those are just the ones that make it to the news. A lot more go unreported. The effort to train women is laudable. As we celebrate women I am worried that some women especially the younger generation see little or no reason to celebrate being a woman, wife and mother. They seem to associate failure, unhappiness, non-achievement etc. with being a wife and mother. They are of the opinion that becoming a wife or mother will deny them the joy of reaching the pinnacle of their chosen careers. There seems to be a trend of empowering and training females without paying enough attention to the males. Both need to be empowered. Our girls seem to think that doing household chores or l...

For about 3 years I drove at least 35 minutes to and from work every working day. I was often alone and so had time to reflect on and learn a lot of things.   My husband complains that I speed, but believe me, it is just a perception. I don't think I speed at all. You just need to see all the cars that overtake me. And that is where the lesson I learnt comes in. Sometimes, I think I am below the speed limit because cars speed past me. I stay in the slow lane and try to increase my speed only to discover that I am already above the speed limit. Some days it's the opposite; I feel I am speeding only to realize I am not. I only know my true speed when I look at the speedometer; the movements of the cars around me do not offer a fair or truthful assessment of my speed. I felt the Lord telling me that that is the way I live - using unreliable measures to gauge my life and failing to reach His standards or going above to do things He has not called me to do.   We measure h...

Hope is being on bended knees Even when it appears That the heavens are shut over you When it appears to grow worse Than better Hope is remaining there And seeing beyond the now The veil; knowing that the covering The quietness is but a preparation for an ensemble Building up from a note to a full orchestra. Hope is staying there Not leaving but staying there No matter what Hope is staying with God Keeping your gaze on Him. Reaching out without seeing But confident that you won't fall. What is hope to you? Please share with me. I BI Dem

Waiting time was one of the topics in my communication class many years ago. I wondered then what the relevance was but I soon got to learn that waiting was extremely important and that failure at this stage could mar the end result of whatever was being waited for. So what is waiting time? It is the period between initiating an action or request and getting that action resolved or the request granted. Between the two ends of the continuum, a lot can happen. When you order for a meal in a restaurant, you often go sit down and wait, doing nothing but fiddling with our phones or engaging in small talks – nothing important. This is because we consider waiting a passive activity. We sit and do nothing – nothing. But the waiting time is not supposed to be a passive, unproductive time; it should not be wasted time. Waiting time is anticipatory time. It is time to anticipate; a time to plan for what is coming. We can’t afford to sit and doddle because we are waiting for someth...

One of the things that amazes me about Abraham is his willingness to go without having any idea where he was going. If you are like me, you would like to have an end destination in mind before embarking on a journey. Not so for Abraham; he goes without knowing and this becomes a pattern for him. Even when ordered to go sacrifice his son, he went without knowing which mountain he was going to. Like I said, I find it amazing and I really respect him for it.   When one engages with Abraham’s story, it becomes clear that he was able to behave in this manner because he trusted the one giving the instructions. He had complete confidence in the God directing him, so he followed not knowing the next step but believing he would not be led into a ditch. The word ‘trust’ seemed very abstract to me until I figured it out in my mother tongue – Yoruba. One of the beauties of the Yoruba language is that it is highly descriptive. You can deduce the meaning of a word by exploring the differ...