Why?

 

THANKS

Thank you all for your comments and advice about losing weight. I hope to update you on my progress in my next post. Please keep the comments and advice coming. And thanks for those joining me on this journey of losing weight and keeping fit.

WHY?

You must have heard in the news and various social media platforms about the 35-year-old Ghanaian pastor who killed his 27-year-old wife in Florida, USA. Barbara and Sylvester Ofori had been married for some years but it wasn’t working out and the wife had moved out of their matrimonial home about three months before the reported incidence.  It was obviously a crime of passion as he shot her 7 times at her workplace. What a tragedy. What a waste of life on both sides. I commiserate with the family.

A video showing the wife’s siblings trying to help her get some documents from her matrimonial home gives a lot of information about the family. There was an altercation between Barbara’s brother and Sylvester, and the pastor promised to kill his wife.  The brother wanted to report the threat to the police, but Barbara did not agree. That decision ended up costing her her life. From videos on YouTube, it is clear that theirs was not a happy marriage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cX5ht-tHKTk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjivZxDuZcg

 I am worried about the behaviour of Barbara which is indicative of so many women who not only condone abuse in their relationships but also defend their abusers. The question is why. Why would any woman continue to stay in an abusive relationship? I can think of some, but I like to know what you think. Please share with me why  women condone and endure abuse from their boyfriends or husbands.  

Waiting for your comments.

I Bi Dem.

 

Comments

  1. Mo20 September 2020 at 12:37

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. E.J.20 September 2020 at 12:52

    Easy, Sis. First, the abused is usually in denial. She hardly sees his act as abuse until too late. She is guilty of loving the abuser unconditionally and keeps blaming herself for having been in the wrong or provoking the abuser. Hence, the abused keeps trying to please her abuser in vain.

    Another big reason is culture and religion. We live in a patriarchal society. The woman is blamed for everything that happens in the home by the church, mosque or nuclear family. The man knows this and most men take advantage.

    Abuse is not only physical as in the case of the Oforis. Another common kind is emotional abuse and because there are no physical scars, it is difficult or almost impossible to tell the story, more so as in the eyes of 'outsiders', he is the perfect and ideal gentleman. Hence, the woman's mental health is challenged and she seems to lack direction. She is hurting seriously but alone, since it is so difficult to share. This is worse for the Introverts. Thankfully, there are social networks like World Pulse or FIN where women can unwind and get support.

    May Christ deliver us all from Narcissists -Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mo20 September 2020 at 13:03

    GBV (Domestic violence) seems to be the most difficult coconut human race has been struggling to crack from one generation to another. Even before the Covid-19, GBV has been a pandemic the world has no control over, most especially because most of the victims are always like the case study above. Their case is often like that of the 'dog that is destined to get lost inspite of the hunter's persistent whistling' (aja to ma sonu ko ni gbo fere olode) despite the red flags, warning and support from loved ones. It is really a dicey and confusing issue. However, most victims find it difficult to leave an abusive relationship or sometimes go back because of pity, unrealistic believe that they can 'heal' such sick man by loving him more/support, religious beliefs/submission, societal pressure, dependency, being human, emotions, psychological/mental issues and more. The list is endless. Hopefully, the continuous search for solutions and the underlying issues of violence in our world will 'soon' be resolved. May God continue to help us.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown20 September 2020 at 14:36

    A reason that is hardly talked about is the fear of been lonely and starting to find some else to be in affairs with

    ReplyDelete
  5. Unknown20 September 2020 at 22:25

    Unfortunately the abused need to see for themselves that they are worthy of more.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Unknown21 September 2020 at 03:33

    I think one of the reasons people stay in an abusive relationship is the love they have for the partner that one of this days he/she will change and it becomes their lifestyle
    Another reason is what will people say, financial security etc

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown21 September 2020 at 14:23

    I think people stay in abusive relationships because of the love they have for their partner hoping that everything will be okay that the abuse man will change not for the relationship to end

    ReplyDelete
  8. Unknown21 September 2020 at 14:24

    I think people stay in abusive relationships because of the love they have for their partner hoping that everything will be okay that the abuse man will change not for the relationship to end

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

HELP

Image
Picture from Google Images   I have a confession to make.   Confessions are not easy as you would know but if I hope to get out of the hole I got myself in, confess I must. So, here is it. I indulged myself; I ate without restraint and refused to burn the excess away. I have the evidence to proof it. Climbing staircases has become a chore. You need to see me huff and puff. I hope you are not laughing because it is not hilarious at all, but rather pathetic. I have never trusted the BMI rating as I think those figures were concocted by someone who doesn’t eat and spends half the day burning up calories. I have never been in the green; even at my slimmest. Like I said, I don’t trust it. It was not designed for people with my body structure. But I checked the figures all the same and like a prophet who never has any good news, the thing said I am obese. Imagine the insult. Me, obese? Of course, I am not! That thing needs to be recalibrated. I know I am a little rounder than I used to
Read more

Pray For Nigeria

Image
  I am one of those who believe that Nigeria will one day rise from her comatose state to being the giant of Africa not just in name but in deed. I cannot blame those who have given up on the nation. The horrors and killings we live through at home and the disgrace we endure abroad have done nothing to inspire much needed hope. As far back as the ‘80s, we were profiled and searched specially at airports globally for drugs. We thought it was a joke back then.   Today, we are named as one of the most corrupt countries in the world. Actually, we did not attain this unenviable position over night - it came to fit like an ill designed gown after many years of corruption and embezzlement of public funds. Each household has become a local government on its own, out of necessity. The government does not provide power, water, good roads, good education, or basic health care. If you want electricity, you buy a generator; water, dig a well; good education, go to private institutions; learn to c
Read more

So far ... getting lighter

Image
I am happy to inform you that I am one kilogram lighter than I was last month. The huffing and puffing is beginning to pay off. I have not lost as much as I would, but I am definitely not where I was before I started this journey.  I counted at least 10,000 steps everyday. Some days I had the required number before noon and I struggled on other days, but I did not miss a single day in one month. I began walking around the neighborhood and I was delighted to meet many people along the way. People are becoming more health conscious. I saw young and old, men and women a whole family, couples, and singles. What a delight! The weight I have lost is not apparent physically, but it is a boost to my mental wellbeing. Thank you for your comments and advice. I hope that you have been able to pick one or two tips from the comment section. I have concluded from the comments and my own experience that it is important to exercise consistently , eat right , drink a lot of water , sleep well and h
Read more