How Strong?

 

I often try to remember how life was before the age of ‘click and get’. Do you remember those days when you had to visit the library and search catalogues, look for books, articles or newspapers for information needed? I recall those days at the University of Ilorin with the kind of nostalgia that has no desire to go back there. Don’t get me wrong - I really enjoyed those days. The smell of books and old newspapers is something I fondly remember. Nowadays, research is devoid of that. Rather, it consists of a list of search words and of course of a computer system to access the different search engines you intend to use. And then, you click away. What a life! Searches that could have taken a week or two may take just a day.

Searches this way however are not devoid of its problems. Although there is no dust irritating your nose, no missing catalogue cards nor missing books on the shelves to contend with, internet connection can make your search a torture.  I am sure that you are familiar with the antics of the network when making phone calls. Oh, the horrors of dropped calls, reconnecting and moving around to look for better network. Whatever we do online, a strong connection is key.

Sometimes, I switch service providers to see if I would get better connectivity. Occasionally it works, other times, it remains the same.  From experience, I have learnt that you may have access to different service providers yet no internet signal. The times I hate the most are when I see that there is network signal albeit just not enough to do what I need to do online. Such times leave me visibly frustrated as pages that normally open in a wink now take forever to open and videos freeze making it impossible to get any work done or enjoy a phone call. This situation often reminds me of Proverb 25:19 which says, ‘Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble Is like a bad tooth and a foot out of joint.’ The joy of using the internet is in having a strong connectivity to stay connected.

The same can be said of women and their friends. As we celebrate Women’s day today here in South Africa, let me ask you, ‘How strong is your network and connection?’ There is no question about our desire to be connected; we have a need to be connected to other women. In fact, God designed us to be connected to Him and others, but those connections must be meaningful ones.  What type of connections do you have and how strong are they?  In other words, what type of friends do you have and how dependable are they?

Just as the number of service providers you subscribe to is not as important as the quality of network you get, the number of friends we have is not as important as the quality. When it comes to network connection or connectivity, quality wins over quantity.

The days of congregating as women to gossip and trade news about the latest fashion trend should be over. If all in your close circle of friends belong to THAT category, you will end up frustrated and depressed. As women, we need to be at the forefront of uplifting other women. If one uplifts one, all of us will soon be on top and believe me, there is enough room up there for us all.

I am an advocate of ajo - cooperative or stokvel; there is strength in numbers if used wisely.  Make sure it is a group of like minds. Coming together as women shouldn’t just be for economic pursuit. How about starting a prayer stokvel? How about coming together to start a business, pooling together to help children do homework and succeed?

Many who desire to have reliable friends are so unreliable themselves. Some women will call others only when they need something from them but turn round to complain that people don’t call them. Be to others what you want them to be to you.

With the ever-increasing statistics of women and child abuse, we will do well to come together, go beyond making speeches and political rhetorics to help women rise above abusive relationships. Strong independent confident women are not likely to remain in abusive relationship and get killed.

In this month of August, you are challenged to reach out to other women, to strengthen your connections. Remember that you are as strong as your connections.  

Please connect with me if you have ideas about how we can help other women.

Stay connected; keep your network strong.

Happy Women’s Day

I Bi Dem.

Picture from: https://medium.com/@annakorovatskaya/how-to-create-a-strong-network-connection-and-benefit-from-it-f3e431d9301a